A Mama's Gratitude for the Wonderful Web

Right now, this mama is very grateful for the internet, especially for the social media part. My sweet, wonderful son is about to take off on a grand adventure. In six days he will be boarding a plane and traveling across the wide ocean to spend his senior year of high school as a Rotary Youth Exchange student in . . . wait for it . . . Estonia. In case you don't know where that it (I didn't. I had to look at a map, so no shame.), I have put a picture here that will help you.

For the first month that he is there, he is not allowed to have any contact with his friends and family back home. That's right folks. My son is going away to a foreign country (albeit a wonderful and safe one), and I am not going to be able to hear from him for a month. I mean, I get it. They want him to acclimate. They want him to learn to depend on his host parents. But . . . dang.

What this means is, I am going to become a major lurker. I will be actively stalking my son on his Facebook page, his blog, and anywhere else I may be able to find traces of him in the Web 2.0 universe, and leaving no evidence that I have been there. 

I have warned my son of my lurking, and promised not to break the rules of contact, so it's all good. He has strict instructions on what information he needs to be sure to include on his Facebook posts and in his blogs. Its all about keeping the mama from tipping over into crazy. He knows. Right now, I am really grateful for this source of connection. 

ITTT Automation and Mindfulness

This week for our Web 2.0 course we were given the task of exploring an online tool called If This Then That. By using this tool to its full potential, and in tandem with some equipment, it seems that you could automate almost your entire life, from doors locking behind as you leave the house, to house lights tuning to the appropriate mood according to the situation at hand, to any information you collect or create on any of your devices being automatically sent or uploaded to wherever it will need to go without you actually having to do it or even think about it. To make a broad generalization, it seems like if you pay attention to ITTT, you almost don't have to pay attention to anything else.

I had a rather fascinating emotional response as I viewed the instructional YouTube videos on this tool--a mixture of fascination, hope, and terror. Oh, how wonderful it would be not to have to worry about so many little details throughout the day. How much cognitive space could be opened up by relieving my brain of all that clutter? The prospect is intriguing. Yet my impression is that what it would take to implement this tool in my life would require quite a bit of doing. Talk about drinking from a fire hose! The possibilities for using and integrating ITTT are seemingly endless.

My main area of interest is mindful awareness, so of course I also found myself thinking about how a tool like ITTT relates to that. One of the cornerstones of mindfulness is the idea of having your attention rooted in the present moment--in all that you are experiencing--the sensations, the feelings, the sounds, tastes, and smells all around you, even what is happening in your own body. If I am not having to pay attention to locking my door before I leave, what I am doing with the lighting in my house, whether or not I have checked to see if I have any messages on my social media or my phone, how mindfully am I living, really?

I honestly don't have the answers here. I can see both sides. I can see the amazing benefits of automation--of tools like ITTT--that can free up mental space for us to be more creative and productive. I can also see how these tools of automation can disconnect us from our simple movement through our days, the little tasks strung one to the next, the movement of our bodies and our breaths.

I guess the only answer is in our choices--how we choose to maximize a tool like ITTT and how we choose to be mindful. Personally, I'm planning to use this one. It's just too cool!

Thoughts?

The Advantages of Asynchronous Communication

I know that I am not the only person in the Web 2.0 course who remembers a time without the internet, cell phones, texting, emailing, Facebook, Twitter, etc.--all the tools we use so frequently now to stay in contact with each other. Communication has opened up in many ways thanks to these new tools. It is much more often, though not always, asynchronous when done through Web 2.0 channels.

Although I have heard many people complain about asynchronous communication, and even say that it isn't "real" communication, I have to admit that I absolutely love it. I find it to be advantageous for many reasons. Here are some of the advantages that I have seen myself and heard from others:

1) "Conversations" can happen over a period of time in small bits, as it is convenient for the individuals.

2) We can initiate contact with a person without worrying that we will interrupt them. I know that most people get to their messaging and texting when it is convenient for them.

3) We can make good use of time in boring, useless meetings! Yes. I said it. You know you do it too. Hello, my name is Cathryn and I am an during-the-meeting-under-the-table intermittent texter.

4) We can take a lot more time think through responses. This can be been extremely helpful, especially in cases when we feel emotionally triggered, or need to carefully choose our words for any reason.

5) One of my favorites is being able to let our loved ones know we are thinking about them, send them well wishes or encouragement, at times when it might be impossible to call them. I quite enjoy being able to send love to my partner throughout the work day, and recently was very grateful to send encouragement to a dear friend right as she was heading in to a very difficult meeting.

I think in many ways the asynchronous communication that is afforded us thanks to these new technologies has enriched, broadened, and deepened our communication with each other. What are some examples from your own experience when asynchronous communicating has benefited you?

I am in the dark place . . . :-(

I spent too much time on Facebook today, and now I am in the dark place. (aka: "People suck. The world is horrible. Why try? Etc.") It was an accident. I didn't mean to. I got sucked into a debate about current politics. Ugh. I'm usually pretty good about staying out of those kinds of messes, but once in a while I get sucked into the vortex of asynchronous, opinionated, unproductive, Web 2.0 debate.

So, for all of us out there who would like to be able to avoid the dark place more frequently, here are some tips for how to do so:


1) Strictly limit daily time on Facebook and the like. This is the simplest and surest safeguard of all. In my opinion, 30 minutes should be the max.

2) Resist the urge to have the last word.  We like to be right. It is a universal human condition. If you find yourself getting sucked into a debate that is going nowhere, acknowledge the desire to feel right and then let it go--just walk away from the "conversation." You're not likely to convince them and they aren't likely to convince you, and a whole lot of time and energy (and sanity) will be wasted.

3) Skip over the posts that you know will be triggers for you. Think of yourself like a fish, and those triggering posts like bait on a hook. Be a smart fish.

Hope this helps you. (And hope it helps me! 😆)

The Changing Face of First Contact in Web 2.0

With the advent of Web 2.0, the very nature of how relationships can be initiated has been radically altered. Most people I know have some friends that they have never even met in person, myself included. Some relationships begin online and then shift to in-person relationships, sometimes even marriage.

What do you think about this evolution in how relationships can begin? Is this a good thing, or a bad thing?

What about online dating? Do you think this is a viable and reasonable way for individuals to meet and hopefully find long-lasting, loving relationships?

How about online counseling, support groups, therapeutic endeavors? Can these ever be successful in the context of online communication?

What are your thoughts and opinions concerning, and experiences with, online first contact?

Time to Take it off the Feed: When Online Conversations Turn Sour

Social media can be such a wonderful and convenient way to connect with individuals who are distant from us, such as family and old friends. It can also be a way to get to know those with whom we may never make a connection at all, such as people who live in other countries or who come from very different walks of life. It can be a way to familiarize ourselves with the broad world--with other ways of thinking and doing.

On the other hand I have witnessed the equivalent of people screaming at each other on Facebook message feeds--just shooting insults and opinions back and forth. This kind of online communication creates rifts rather than connections. It erodes relationships rather than builds them.

The most important element of effective communication is conscious listening. True conscious listening encompasses much more than just attending to the words spoken by a person. To listen consciously and fully, we must also attend to a person's tone of voice, body language, phrasing, facial expressions, volume level, rate of speech, etc. Here is a wonderful talk by my friend Julian Treasure about conscious listening:





Click on this link:
Julian Treasure: 5 ways to listen better







So, when is it time to move an online conversation to longer personal messages, a phone call, or even an in-person conversation? Here are some helpful guidelines:

1) When the conversation starts to become heated. Emotion does not translate well in pure text. If emotions start to surface, it's time to move the conversation to an alternate venue. Pick up the phone. Use Skype. Or at the very least, switch to exchanging more lengthy personal messages or letters.

2) If continuing the conversation could compromise a person's privacy or safety. Posting details in a public forum of details such as where and when you are planning with friends is just not a good idea. Nor is revealing overly personal information about ourselves or others. When we get caught up in a back-and-forth on a post feed, we can sometimes forget that anyone can be "watching." (Remember there are plenty of folks out there who know how to slip through privacy settings.) We must be careful with the personal information that we post.

3) If the topic of the conversation is excessively complex. Trying to have overly complex conversations that are full of research, facts, opinions, and debate online can not only lead to miscommunication and conflict, it can eat up an enormous amount of time. Best to take these to a more appropriate venue. How about a video conference?

Please share any other guidelines you have for healthy feed posting in the comments below.

Happy posting!

Unplugging and Recharging in Montana

View from the little "Claim Shack." My Montana home.

Every summer I have the remarkable fortune of spending several weeks in a remote area of Northwestern Montana. One of my dearest friends, Debo Powers, owns some precious acres just across the river from Glacier National Park. She lets me come and stay in her little "Claim Shack," the first structure that she build on the property. She lived in it herself for several years as she was building her main cabin.

View from one of our hikes.

This place is pure magic. The whole region is completely off-grid. There are no power lines, no sewer lines, almost no road noise, no stores or gas stations (except a couple of saloons and a little country mercantile), few people, no phone signals . . . and . . . no . . . internet!





One of the first things I notice when I arrive in Montana every summer is the deep silence. It is remarkable how much background noise there is in populated areas. I am so accustomed to it that I don't notice it until I get away from it. The silence and stillness is always a bit disconcerting at first, but after about a day or so, I settle comfortably into the natural environment that is ruled by the rhythms and sounds of the earth.

Glacier Lilies. They're edible, and yummy!

The people who live in this area have to go to rather extensive lengths, by our modern standards, to achieve regular internet connectivity. For most of the summers I have gone there, we haven't had much internet at all.

Another hike view. The pictures don't do it justice.

Being disconnected from technology for that extended period is quite an experience. Attention starts to turn outward to the present moment--the clouds, the breeze in the trees and grass, the birds and insects, the vibrant colors, the conversations of the people around me . . . when there are people around, the flavors of the food. Time slows down. I slow down. It is the most rejuvenating few weeks of my year. I return refreshed and more present and effective in every aspect of my life.

Bear Grass in bloom.

A lucky wolf sighting! Sweet and shy.

During that time in Montana, it is easy to unplug and recharge because it is imposed. I have often thought about how to create the same rejuvenating experience without having to go all the way across the country. Of course, there are some aspects of that time that cannot be recreated, but what about just separating from the buzz of the technology for a while?

Hike to a lookout.

Sometimes "getting away from it all" can be about just mentally separating ourselves from the outside world and turning inward to our own sensations--about becoming present. And we must realize that unplugging and recharging isn't a simple luxury. It is a necessity for our health, our happiness, and our well-being. I encourage everyone to give it a try. You won't be sorry.

Oh! And if you're ever in the neighborhood, make a stopover in magical Montana!

Student-Teacher Trust and Web 2.0

One of my favorite psychology professors once said, "Trust isn't earned. It's given." In my personal experience, this is especially true when it comes to kids and teens. They want to be trusted first, before they decide how they will approach a relationship.

In a study on teen use of Web resources in school by Charles Crook (2012), the students expressed frustration with being expected to use the internet for certain school assignments, but then not being able to access the very websites they needed in order to complete those assignments. Their relationships with their teachers were eroded because of the lack of trust on the part of the adults. Teens want to be trusted, and will most often rise to the occasion when trust is extended.

Access to the web and all its resources isn't going away, nor is the widespread access that teens have to the devices that connect them to the web. As much as we may think we can control their access and use with blocks and restrictions, this is not an adequate or appropriate way to serve our teens.

What we, the adults who serve teens, need to do when it comes to student internet use is:
1) teach them about appropriate and safe use of technology,
2) have open dialogue about its pros and cons, its pitfalls and dangers, and its many benefits, and
3) to extend our trust when it comes to their use of the internet both inside and outside of school.

When it comes to relationships between teens and adults, it is always the responsibility of the adult to set the tone of the relationship. I say, let's give them our support and our trust (within reason) and let them fly.



Here's the reference for the article mentioned above:

Crook, C. (2012). The 'digital native' in context: tensions associated with importing Web 2.0 practices into the school setting. Oxford Review of Education, 38(1), 63-80. doi:10.1080/03054985.2011.577946 

Drinking from the Firehose: Web 2.0 and Cognitive Overload

I can literally feel my brain approaching the threshold of cognitive overload--like it might explode at any moment, pulled in so many different directions and trying to hang on to way too much information.

It's not just the fact that I'm currently taking a course on Web 2.0, learning about all kinds of online tools, formats, philosophies, etc. and trying to keep up with actually engaging in online communities. The rest of my life has continued to go on.

My son will be leaving for a year-long study abroad in about three weeks and we are dashing around constantly trying to get things done for that, as well as trying to squeeze in quality time together. I have a research assistantship to keep up with. I have rewrites to do for my annual review, proposals to get in this week for a conference, and a presentation to for an upcoming conference that I need to get done . . .
Trying to get exercise in.
Spend time with my partner.
The dang dogs have to be fed.
Oh great, now they want a walk.
Yikes! Have to call my mom back. It's been two days.
Oh shoot! I need to get that Facebook invite done for my son's going away party!
Uh, oh. Need to sit down and pay those bills.
Wait. Have I spent any time on that paper today?
On, and on, and on . . . . . .

I know I'm not the only one who is experiencing this. I am absolutely certain that one of the cons of Web 2.0 and the exponential increase in the amount of information available to us is the increased cognitive load. I am realizing that making good use of the tools available to sift through and organize our online resources, is vital to our sanity, as is the self-discipline to turn off the screens once in a while.

My big take-away from my Web 2.0 course this week is that if I want to take full advantage of all that the wonderful world-wide web has to offer, I must make use to the tools that will allow me to do so . . . and allow me to maintain my sanity at the same time. Filters, collection and curation tools are now my friends.

Kaboom!!!!!


To learn more about cognitive load theory, explore the research of John Sweller, Slava Kalyuga, and Fred Paas.

To share or not to share. That is the question.

I misquoted Shakespeare in the title of this blog. (Can you name the play? The character who I misquoted?) But I can do that--take a Shakespeare quote and change it around however I want to without obtaining any permissions--because Shakespeare is in the public domain. His work can be freely used and changed around by anyone without fear of being sued. If I decided to put on one of Shakespeare's plays, I could find it online and just print out as many copies as I needed for my cast.

On the other hand, I couldn't do that with the work of some of my other favorite authors like Brene Brown or Madeline L'Engle. Someone owns the rights to their work. If I do decide to use any of it I have to quote it appropriately and give the credit where it's due. I can't just copy and redistribute one of their books for a book club or a class. Each copy must be purchased.

When it comes to my own work, I need to make careful decisions about what I want to share freely and openly with others on the web, and what I want to set up so that others have to make some kind of purchase in order to use it. I do have to make a living after all. How do I decide which of my products should be made available to others under a Creative Commons license, and which should be used to help put food on the table?

I don't think these are clear and/or easy decisions, and the more I learn about it, frankly, the more confused I become. All kinds of questions come up in me about the value of my own contributions and creations. I don't ever want to make the decision to make my work available for free because I don't think anyone will pay for it. I want to make that decision because it is the right and appropriate thing to do.

I believe in the open sharing of information on the world-wide web, and the power for social change that is inherent in the free sharing of information. Hopefully I will be able to find a comfortable and workable balance between freely sharing and setting value on my work. I don't believe that the two are contradictory, but it can sure feel that way on the surface.

What do you think? How do you set a value on your own work? Do you think that ideas and words that are of particular value and interest should be those that also come with a price tag? What kind decision making process do you have when it comes to the sharing of your own work?

Buying the Letters Behind the Name

Is a college degree really about knowledge, skills, and information anymore, or just about paying for a credential?

With the ongoing expansion of open source materials on the world-wide web, including MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses) often hosted by the top educational institutions in the world and created by some of the top professors, it seems that a person might be able to acquire almost any skills and/or knowledge they desire. Of course there are some obvious limitations (I wouldn't want a surgeon who had not been trained in an actual medical program to operate on me!) but there is so much learning that can be done over Web 2.0 platforms.

Just yesterday, a friend told me about an online service called VIPKid where qualified instructors teach English to children in China using video conferencing. Here's the link to their Facebook page: VIPKID. She suggested that this might be a good option for part-time, flexible employment. And why not? Who wouldn't want to work from the comfort of their own home and set their own schedule?

I know that personally, I love my online classes. And it's not just the being able to work from home part. I enjoy the on-going interaction with my fellow students and my instructor that an online class affords. In a well-designed online educational environment, the learning can be rich indeed.

With more and more American college students being buried in student load debt, and with companies becoming less concerned with degrees and more concerned with skills, I wonder how long the credential of a college degree will hold much weight. I've even heard talk of the fact that the level of degree that one holds doesn't mean what it used to. (Aka, "A doctorate is the new master's, and a master's is the new bachelor's.") I wonder too, if more people will turn to self-education of marketable skills and away from the mountainous debt and hoop jumping that so often comes with those letters behind the name.

What do you think?

"Sharing is Caring"

"If educational materials can bring people out of poverty, and information can now be copied and shared with greater ease, there is a moral obligation to do so. Information should be shared, because it is the right thing to do." (Caswell, Henson, Jensen, & Wiley, 2008)

Sharing is indeeed caring, as my friend Sara Tours, an early childhood specialist and researcher in the area of developmentally appropriate practice (DAP) often reminds those around her. And, as the authors mentioned above point out, it's just the right thing to do. I believe this absolutely.

Human beings are social creatures. We depend on each other, look out for each other in time of need, learn from each other, and get frustrated with each other when we don't agree on what the "right" or "correct" course of action may be. We operate most effectively, safely, and efficiently in groups. Anthropologically speaking, we have survived thanks to our social nature.

Now, more than ever, because of all that Web 2.0 has to offer we have a virtually unlimited capacity to bring education and knowledge to all people. Many believe that education is the ultimate key to world peace. Powerful stuff.

One of the most vocal individuals in this regard is Malala Yousafzai. Malala has fought for the education of woman and girls worldwide after being shot in the head by members of the Taliban at the age of 15 in Pakistan. She was shot because she would not give up what she believed was her right to an education, nor would she stop being vocal about that right, even under mortal threat. She survived, against unimaginable odds. Malala is the youngest recipient in history of the Nobel Peace Prize, having accepted the award at age 16.

Here's a little inspiration for you. (Have the tissues handy.)

What do you think? Is Malala correct? What if the key to world peace is not a stronger military, but a stronger and broader educational structure? Is it really that elegantly simple?

Wanted: A Like-Minded Blog Community

Before reading an article about blogging community norms and practices by Vanessa Dennen, a professor at FSU in Instructional Systems,  I never had even considered the idea of blog "communities." (Access the full article here: Becoming a Blogger: Trajectories, Norms, and Activities in a Community of Practices). I had kept a few blogs informally myself but had conceived of a blog only as a sort of online personal news and/or opinion column, not something around which a community could form.

One of my main areas of interest is the concept of human connection--how human beings connect with each other, why, and what human connection does for mental, emotional, and even physical health. I was fascinated to read about how the bloggers were connecting with each other, often under pseudonyms, in a way that they were not able to outside of the blogging community. They shared common concerns, circumstances, and experiences and were able to assuage feelings of isolation through their blogging activities.

The idea that a person may be able to be more honest about who they truly are (at least in some ways) while using a fake name is fascinating to me. After all, "What's in a name?" A lot, of course. There is a lot that hangs on the name of a person who works in a public arena and has to carefully craft her public reputation. Blogging, I have learned, serves as a vital outlet for many to be able to be authentic and open about subjects that are more off limits in their "real" lives.

Reading this article, learning about blogging communities, and especially reading about the experiences of specific bloggers, has reaffirmed my belief that the human connection that happens in the online world is far more beneficial than it is harmful. Now, with social media, when individuals experience a sense of isolation, they can cast a far wider net in an effort to reach out and find others who can understand and empathize with them. That's a pretty sweet deal in my book.

Well, on that note . . . ttyl! I'm going fishing!

Instagram + Natgeotravel = ahhhhhhhh . . . .

I have found the ultimate online escape! Yes!

Thanks to being "forced" by Vanessa Dennen to play around with Instagram for my EME 6414, Web 2.0 course I have discovered the wonderful world of Natgeotravel.

Travel is something that is very important to me, and I am well aware there are countless places in the world I will never see in person. Because of this, I love seeing pictures from all over and learning about distant lands in other ways. Coming across these photos on Instagram brought up feelings of wonder and adventure--important when day-to-day life can often feel mundane and repetitive.

What was most wonderful about this discovery was the accompanying epiphany that social media platforms can be so much more than a way to connect with and keep in touch with others. They can also be a way to connect with and keep in touch with ourselves--with parts of ourselves that can tend to be neglected or forgotten. They can open up the world. The photos posted by Natgeotravel connected me with my inner wanderer, adventurer, and vagabond.

I share a little taste with you here, and highly recommend following Natgeotravel and Natgeographic to any users of Instagram.

Adventure awaits!

No More Running

I have been hearing and reading for years about the growing necessity for professionals to attend to their online presence. I have also, other than a couple of dippings of my toes in the online water, run from that necessity. Technology is scary to me. I feel like a fish out of water when I attempt to work with it. The online world feels big and scary and overwhelming, so I avoid. (Not an effective strategy for someone who is working on a PhD and moving toward a profession in academia!)

After reading an article for the Web 2.0 class that I am taking at FSU titled Creating an Intentional Web Presence: Strategies for Every Educational Technology Professional by Lownthal, Dunlap, and Stitson, I realize that running is no longer an option. The authors, convincingly, discuss the vital importance of taking control over one's online personality and footprint. As I read, a picture began to form in my mind of my future possible employers sitting at a computer, typing my name into Google, and yielding nothing but my Facebook page and other social media silliness. Ugh! I do not like that picture! Thankfully, the authors include specific guidelines for how to go about attending to online presence.

The first is to create a personally controlled website. No problem. Though I think I have pretty much decided to get some help doing it--actually hiring someone who really knows what they're doing and create something for me, though something simple, that is beyond just a canned template. I like the idea of having this, as the authors call it, "home base."

Second, the authors encourage actively engaging in social networking. Networking goes beyond just posting fun personal stuff on social media. Networking is about making connections with key individuals and online communities that can provide professional support. I am just getting going on this, but it is one of those things that I feel like I have to just start doing and then learn as I go. I'm getting more active on Twitter, and being more careful about the types of things I post on Facebook--attempting to add in posts of a more professional interest and limit posts that have to do with my political leanings and such.

Third, the authors talk about the importance of contributing and sharing professional resources connected with your area of expertise. Not only is it important to share your own work, but it is important to also curate and share the work of others that you find useful and that you think might be useful to others in your field. I have tried to do a little bit of this with YouTube (School Counseling and Guidance Resources) but have pretty much decided, again, that I am going to get some professional support. I have also become quite intrigued with the idea of using SlideShare, as I have several Power Point presentations I have created for trainings, conferences, and presentations that could be useful to others in my field. Gonna try that one next. One step at a time . . .


Fourth, and last, the authors discuss Search Engine Optimization (SEO). Yikes! What?! Definitely getting some professional support here. This is something I have heard about and read about, and have absolutely no clue about. At the same time, I don't want to miss this apparently very-important boat in the Web 2.0 ocean.

Whew! Lots to think about. Lots to consider. Lots to learn. Exciting and scary at the same time.

I'm going to go have a glass of wine now . . .

Cheers!

Context Collapse: Dissolving the Dividers

My step mother, Heather Hayward, is one of the top personal coaches in the Los Angeles area. She has come a long way, from overcoming addiction and disfunction to running highly-sought-after, experiential-emersion workshops that fill to over capacity at each offering. She has coached me at several points in my own life, and I have always found her advice to be dead on.

Heather once said something to me that I have never forgotten. She said,"I don't have any secrets from anyone. My life is an open book. Living that way saves me so much time and energy and worry. It frees all my energy up to be as productive as possible. If someone doesn't like me for who I am, then I don't need them in my life."

Her words came back to me as I was reviewing instructional material for the Web 2.0 class I am taking as part of my PhD program. Our instructor, Vanessa Dennen, introduced to us the concept of context collapse--when different domains of a person's life that are typically separate from each other collide temporarily. For me, this most commonly happens when I run into students and their families while I am out shopping or running other errands. The expressions on the faces of the very young students can be particularly humorous, often grimacing or wide-eyed--wondering what in the world I am doing away from the school where they are accustomed to seeing me. Some of them honestly believe that I, and the other teachers and staff of the school, live there!

I wonder about the energy that is expended in keeping our lives compartmentalized in order to present different versions of ourselves to different groupings in our personal networks. I wonder about the constant underlying worry that can come with impending context collapse. Is Heather correct? Would we all be better off to abandon the often fruitless effort to control who knows what about us? To attempt to control how certain groups of people, both online and off, view us?

It seems that in the online world the stakes of context collapse can be even higher. Reputations can be ruined in a matter of seconds. I have counseled students and clients for years to live as authentically as possible as a way of reducing anxiety. This must, of course, be coupled with a constant nurturing of a strong self-concept, one that is independent of the good opinion of others.

On the other hand, we can also realize that no one is entitled to any information about us. Our business is our business. We can choose to share it with others on a need to know basis. If that is upsetting to them, well . . . then we can remember that we are not responsible for the feelings of others. We are only responsible to act with kindness and integrity.

Context collapse is a simple reality of life both on and off-line, but it does not have to be anxiety producing if we are able to accept it as such. Hopefully, we can also realize that others are not always as they appear to us in the specific context in which we know them, and be compassionate and respectful of what aspects of themselves they choose to share with us.

Managing Your Web Network Energy

Anyone who has engaged in any kind of self-help/self-improvement work has most likely received some counsel on being careful with too much exposure to the negative energies of others. Sometimes we are even advised by counselors and/or therapists to completely cut off contact with individuals whose energy is particularly toxic. In order to be able to achieve and maintain mental and emotional health we need to learn to set healthy boundaries when it comes to the amount and intensity of negative vs positive energy to which we are exposed.

So how can we apply these principles to our online social networks? Here are some basic guidelines:

1. Limit daily social media time. This can prevent you from getting dragged into endless, draining debates and help ensure that you are getting enough in-person human contact.
2. Un-friend and/or block individuals who tend to post and share primarily negative comments and information. Just do it. You are not responsible for their feelings. You don't need that energy in your life. Would you hang around someone who was talking like that constantly? 
3. Pay close attention to what you are posting yourself. What kind of energy are you putting out there? Are you emotionally vomiting into cyber space? Are your posts problem focused or solution focused? Take responsibility for the energy that you are spreading on the Web.
4. Be attentive to where you are channeling your personal internet traffic. What websites, chat rooms, online news sources, etc. do you tend to visit and leave comments on? Are they reputable, reliable, and objective? Or are they inflammatory and gossip-driven?
5. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT participate in online gossip and cruelty! I'm talking about those snap shots and videos that people take and then post online with mean comments about how fat or ugly, or whatever else, they are and then other people add on more nasty comments. I'm talking about name-calling, and general online bullying. It's easier than one might think to get sucked into these kinds of behaviors. They are erosive to mental and emotional health. Don't participate. Better yet, interrupt it if you happen to come across it. Stand up for the targets of online bullying and cruelty.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but hope it helps. Leave your comments and/or questions below. 

Wishing you well.

The Illusion of Choice

I found myself thinking about my 74-year-old mother today. My mother doesn't use the internet. She doesn't have an email address. She has no desire to learn or engage with the new world of Web 2.0. She still writes checks to pay all her bills. She goes to the bank to conduct any of her banking tasks. She even goes to her favorite department store to pay her credit card bill in person.

There are many individuals who make a conscious choice not to use the various online services and social media platforms. I personally know many who choose not to use Facebook, for example, as a matter of principle. They feel that Facebook, and other online social media, is partially responsible for a dilution of substantive human relationships. I know others who choose not to pay bills online or conduct online banking because they believe it is not secure. Although I don't necessarily agree with their views, I am very glad that they have the right and freedom to make those choices--that they can be self-directive in the style in which they choose to live their day-to-day lives. I wonder if we will reach a point in our progress when those individuals will no longer have a true choice to abstain from an interactive, online existence.

The last time I was in Utah visiting my mother, she needed to pay a bill before an impending deadline. If she sent a check in the mail, the payment would not get there in time. There was no longer a physical office to which she could go to pay the bill in person. The only option that existed was to pay the bill online. My mother had never done such a thing before. She does not even own a computer and has never used the internet. Thankfully, I was able to access the appropriate organization and pay the bill using my smart phone. I have no idea what my mother would have done had I not been in town with my smart phone in hand. Her payment would have been late, and she would have had to pay an additional a fee, which is significant for a person on a fixed income.

I worry what will happen to my mother, and others in similar situations to hers, if the advancements of online communities and Web 2.0 begin to edge individuals out of being able to make the choice to not use certain online resources. Will these individuals be forced to adapt, or be left behind, or have to engage in an interpersonal style that is not of their choosing? Does a choice really exist when it comes to this topic?

I have faith in people and in the systems they create. I am encouraged when I see cell phones that are designed specifically for those who have no experience with the technology, especially the elderly. I hope very much that organizations will continue to provide alternatives to those for whom online methods are difficult or out of reach for any reason. I hope that we will be careful not to leave some individuals behind as our culture continues to advance at an accelerated rate.

Community vs Network

As I read the required text (Networked: The New Social Operating System by Rainie and Wellman) for my FSU Web 2.0 course, I find myself thinking about the concept of community vs network. I hear  quite a bit of conversation these days that seems to center around the loss of close-knit communities resulting from the overtaking of society by online communication. Many purport that current human connections and communities are diluted--shadows of what they used to be pre-web 2.0.

Rainie and Wellman make a great case for the new social network that is accomplished through online connections and communication. We have all read stories of individuals in trouble who were able to raise money, resolve problems, obtain vital information, and accomplish any other number of minor or major miracles by relying on their online social networks.

As a counselor, and as a human, I understand the deep importance of intimate human connection. Sustained eye contact, healthy physical touch, shared lived experiences are vital to human emotional and mental health. I do not believe that online communication by itself, and online networks, no matter how ideally developed, can provide for these basic human needs.

What I am coming to believe is that online networks can not replace close-knit human communities, but they can enhance human lives in significant, tangible ways. These networks can give us a wider range of resources to call on in times of trouble. They can be vast sources of information and support when our needs outstrip the resources of our communities. And, best of all I believe, they can help us realize how connected we humans really are--all of us, all over the world.

The bottom line is that we are best off when we have both: close-knit, well-nurtured communities around us and a well-developed online social network. Both take time and energy to build and maintain, and both are worthy of that time and energy. It is a lot to figure out and learn to manage, and we are all experiencing our struggles with it, but we will move through these growing pains as we always have before.

Bon voyage!